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[23 Jul 2008|04:35pm] |
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God i'm glad to have my man back. 11 days was way too long apart, its the longest we've been apart in over 2 years. now that we're both on probation believe it or not, life is better. too bad my baby has to spend his 21st birthday at home. this changed us, forever. im actually kind of glad all of this turned out this way. making payments on a truck and full coverage insurance that i can't drive for a few months sucks but on the bright side, i'll own it. buying expensive things without "daddy's' help is the shit. i pretty much donated everything he ever bought me. money isnt love, and he'll never understand that.
my accident was a turning point for me. after being on bed rest for weeks i just couldnt ake it anymore. i didnt want to have an injury like this at such a young age. think positiveeeeee
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| pissed |
[19 Jul 2008|11:19pm] |
whatever
tears
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| slipping into a depression and i cannot turn around. |
[27 Sep 2007|06:43pm] |
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Yesterday I became an aunt of beautiful baby lincoln! filled with emotions i have never felt before, and we're hit with it, Lincoln is not going to make it. i dont want to list or think about all the things that are wrong with this baby, he could have 2 days..or he could have a year. brittany is so strong, yet so sad. today she said to me before she was taken away in an ambulance to go be with her baby in jacksonvile, "i have to bury my baby" god this is so fucking hard. she thinks she is being punished. i wish this grim reeper who has been following me around since nipss died, taking friends and family one by one, WOULD GO THE FUCK AWAY!leave me alone!
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| soooooo |
[09 Sep 2007|10:04pm] |
ive been at blockbuster for almost 6 months.
its the best job ever, not the best money, but i love it.
last week my boss said "jeriann i really like you, i see you in management"
it feels good to know someone's proud besides mike and his whole family hah.
i hung out with amanda smith the other night, we squashed the shit i guess, i shook her hand and its all gravy now.
kirstina though, i cant stand her ass, and she married into my new family, lying all over the place, trying to hide her past, TOO BAD BITCH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN ON MY BAD SIDE. its cool though, you can pretend to be a good little girl, it will only last so long, and i SWEAR i wont say "i told you so" to anyone.all the things you've told me, all the shit you've talked to me, just be glad im a good person, and im not gonna let your skeletons out. LUCKY, THIS TIME.
mike's driving to GA tomorrow and im working.
time just flies too fast now.
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| crazy in love. |
[04 Sep 2007|08:57pm] |
im crazy in love, and i didnt even think i believed in that
after screaming and yelling and slamming doors for 3 hours this morning mike looked me in the eyes and said "you're the best i've ever had and i love you, i cant live without you"
if i could chose someone's life to live, anyone at all, i would definately chose mine.
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[01 Sep 2007|12:49am] |
so my life has finally come together.
we fought our eviction in court and won!
so the apartment is finally feeling like a home.
we both work alot and paying our bills is getting easier everytime.
my mom came over last night and had some dinner with us we took a walk and talked. she really is my best friend.
i couldnt have asked god for a better family to marry into.
i've never met parents like scott and shelly, they unconditionally love, and they took me in when i needed them the most. i cant wait to call them mom and dad.i dont think i will ever be able to thank them enough for the love they showed me when my parents weren't there.
i love my job, 30 to 40 hours a week works for me!
when i was a little girl i could never picture me falling in love, getting married, having a home, and starting a family, i sure as hell was wrong because mike is perfect. his love is amazing, and he's everything i could ever want in a husband.
here's to a good life full of smiles and great food!
i love all of you guys, you will never know how grateful i am to be part of your family <3
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| 151 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[04 Jul 2007|12:50am] |
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you expect them not to know where a woman's clitoris is? mike works alot and works out alot and loves me alot. im fucking lucky. they have discovery channel dont they?
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| poem i wrote for Jerry |
[18 Jun 2007|08:33pm] |
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The Card Game of Life Never in my life did I think that we could or would have a friendship like this, Never did I believe that you had the power to make my life bliss. About 4 and a half years ago I realized just how much power you did hold. Don’t let his words hurt you, God is your father, I was told. I was always afraid of what you would think and how you would react, So that’s why at 17 I ran with all my belongings packed. You were always my role model, my judge, and mostly my friend. I remember dreaming of the day my supposedly “shitty” life would end. I never thought I would be thanking you for my childhood, I never thought I would be grateful for the pain that I withstood. I guess I’m trying to tell you that you were mostly right, Aside from your attempts to help that always ended in a fight. I understand you think you know the only way; you’ve done this all before. But I have changed immensely since I walked out of your door. You always calculate someone’s future from their past, But this time, dad, you have to know that my good streak will last. I’ll admit I had a revelation the other day sitting on my leather loan, Everything you ever said was right; I almost called you on the phone. You have a lot to show the world for all the work you have done. But what about your family? You sure put us through a ton. I have a closet full of clothes and a heart full of holes. My childhood was a royal flush, but now I think I’ll fold. This competition wasted years, and it sure was long and hard. But now I lift my head up, ecstatic that I finally pulled the right card. Life is like algebra, everyone has a different way to solve it. I found mine and it works just fine, so your game I must quit. I finally wake up every morning with a smile on my face. I finally know what true love feels like, and I finally found my place. I used to cry when I saw you drive down the road we once shared. Untill I realized I can do this without you and I was no longer scared. Now I cry when I see you out of sadness for you and your soul. Because you can not share this happiness, and I guess that is your toll. I’ve never been this happy because I constantly lived for you and your pride. I’m sorry you can’t understand me, its something you just can not hide. I love you unconditionally, forever, and until the day I die. I’m thankful that you made me, starting as just a twinkle in your eye. And even though this may not touch even a tiny piece of your heart, Maybe it will spark thought in your mind, and that’s a great start.
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[08 Jun 2007|03:41pm] |
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last year to be a teenager. 19 going on 12. we postponed the wedding untill june 08' i know im going to spend the reast of my life with mike, because i cant live without him, he completes me, so there's no need to rush into the ceremy. its going to be perfect, just like i've always dreamed. we're getting a house soon, and we're both going to go to college. mike wont let me be a college dropout, everyday he tells me im going back, and i know i can do anything, i just have to get my mind right. when i lived with my parents and prayed everynight before i went to sleep, i prayed that i would find a man who is humble yet generous, is spiritual but not religious, is a goal setter but not a workaholic, and most of all i prayed for a man who would love me for everything i am, hold me whenever i need to cry, and be my best friend. thanks God, i found him.
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[13 May 2007|02:47am] |
yet again another insane evening.
im tired.
i need to sleep for like 4 days.
and hang out with katie ooooooooooooo
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[11 May 2007|08:53pm] |
last night was insane.
i think i said "i love this crazy bitch" over 50 times.
im weird.
we're weird.
me and sarah love to be weirdos.
this relationship is so fucking great and weird.
i love how he lets me be myself, and i love that he knows everything about me.
being bi has never been so fun, especially with a fiance.
my life is just so fucking chill.
im about to go meet chedder sam at a hotel to give her some prom presents.
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[26 Apr 2007|03:36pm] |
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tuesday was our 11 months.
seems like its been a few years.
im so blessed to get to be in this huge family.
i love them all so much, and they make me feel so comfortable.
its really unfortunate about my parents, ive mentally detached myself from this situation badly.
i should really think about it and figure out what im gonna do, eh, ill cry another day.
my life is really just great now, i cant believe it.
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[19 Apr 2007|07:15pm] |
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i met gary yeoman yesterday.
he doesn't wear shoes in his office, he says they're uncomfortable.
christina is really fun to hang out with, im glad we're getting closer.
hopefully we're getting our new place next week.
working is actually fun this time.
i guess people can change. im enjoying work, its weird.
my dog is just absolutely adorable, i need to post pictures.
oh and happy 420.
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[09 Dec 2006|01:38am] |
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ok ashley, i cant stand this anymore. stop fucking with me. it makes me miss you so much fucking more. i found your payment stubs from the restaurant you used to work at in the RV I'm staying at. what the hell? you've never been in this RV. you're going to miss my wedding. i just dont know if i can do all of this without you. help.
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[07 Oct 2006|06:31am] |
I have never been in love like this, I have never been head over heels. I have never shared so much with one person. Mike is my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, my guidance, my advice, and everything im thankful for. He makes little baby faces, and we fight over boogers. I cant see myself with anyone else, my love for him is unconditional. I love waking up every morning next to him, and i can't wait to keep doing it for the rest of my life. I love you <3
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[27 Sep 2006|10:41am] |
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It's official, I have fallen out of love with Ormond Beach. I thought this could never happen, but it has. Im still close with most of my friends but the whole town, the whole atmosphere, is just old. Ive moved on, and hopefully, I'll never move backwards.
I just had a nightmare....
Me and a bunch of people were camping in this little shitty RV.
Emily and Jaime were there.
Louie and Billy were there.
Kaytee and Chris.
Alisha and Shaw.
Me and Mike.
Louie turned into a vampire and started eating everyone....
It was horrible he was biting them and sucking their blood, the whole nine.
Alisha laughed while she was dying.
It was the grossest dream iver had in a while.
Louie, I knew something was weird about you.
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| fuck your pretty little lives. |
[21 Aug 2006|08:39pm] |
fuck your sorority rushes.
fuck your shopping plans.
fuck your pictures.
and your boyfriends.
fuck your dorms.
fuck your new cars.
fuck your friends.
fuck your litle problems.
if your dress doesnt fit right,
or you need gas in your car,
or your boyfriend pissed you off.
LISTEN TO ME.
my best friend is dead,
SHE'S DEAD.
she fell 250 feet off a cliff to her death.
SHE LEFT WITHOUT ME.
17 years of friendship.
sharing beds, toilets, doughnuts, parents, and clothes.
BUT OH OH JERIANN IS SO STRONG.
she's been through so much.
she's lost so many.
FUCK THAT!
do you think that it makes this any easier?
do you think that each time someone in my life dies i will cry less tears?
feel less pain?
YEAH BITCHES, im strong.
YEAH, ive been through more shit than most of you can imagine.
but im hurting too.
im hurting so bad.
IM LUCKY THOUGH,
because i have a man who loves me.
mike, my boyfriend, my partner, my lover.
we're moving to west palm beach.
IM GOING TO COLLEGE AND WORKING PART TIME.
if i didnt have him by my side, i wouldnt have made it through this.
if i didnt have him to hold me while i cried at night because my ashley is gone, i would be a complete wreck.
Ashley Ellen Parker will still be the maid of honor at my wedding one day, even though her body won't be there, her spirit will. and i will love her forever.
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[08 Aug 2006|03:04am] |
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i cannot even begin trying to explain how much my life changed a few nights ago. being in love is a hard and difficult thing. sharing your life with that person is even harder. mike was not only my boyfriend but my best friend. everything that he put me through last night made me do some major thinking. yeah, he's crazy. but im in lvoe with that crazy man, and when i take him back, i will be whole again.
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